52 YEARS OLD AND FABULOUS..AGAIN?

JULY 9 2020 TODAY I TURN 52... AND TODAY I WEIGH 174.4 LBS. MY PRECIOUS HUBBY IS TAKING ME TO GET NEW PANTS SO MINE WILL STOP FALLING DOWN AROUND MY LEGS LIKE A GANGSTER BITCH. TO CELEBRATE I WOULD LIKE TO GET A CUPCAKE THE SIZE OF MY HEAD BUT IT IS NO LONGER WORTH IT..THE SUGAR THE GLUTEN THE BULLSHIT... WITH ALL THE NEW MEDS, IF I EAT THE WRONG FOOD I GET SO SICK THAT A BINGE OR FEAST OF SUGAR LIKE I USED TO DO IS JUST NOT WORTH IT. I HAD RATHER NOT GO THROUGH IT I HAD RATHER KEEP THE TENDER BALANCE OF BEING OK FOR THE DAY. NO MIGRAINE , DID I THROW UP? NO..WELL IM OK THEN.  

180.1 lbs

today is June 18 2020.. I weigh 180.1lbs big fucking deal

IMPACT OF SELF LOVE

I LOVE ME ...IF YOU DONT LOVE YOURSELF NO ONE ELSE WILL EVER LOVE YOU. IF YOU DONT THINK THERE ARE GREAT THINGS ABOUT YOU, WHY SHOULD I... IF YOU LOOK BACK AT YOUR OWN REFLECTION AND YOU KNOW THAT YOUR BEAUTY IS A PRETTY FACE AND AN UGLY HEART.. YOU WILL NOT EVER BE HAPPY WITH HOW ANYONE LOVES YOU. PLEASING YOU WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE. IF CHANGE IS NOT POSSIBLE AND THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF, STAY AWAY FROM ME. TOXIC PEOPLE WILL DESTROY YOU. ITS OKAY TO GET THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE. ITS OKAY TO LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH & TO BE HEALTHY & SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW WHEN PEOPLE SUCK THE LIFE OUTTA YOU. MY HEALTH AND WELL BEING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN IF EVERYONE ELSE HAS WHAT THEY NEED FROM ME. I USED TO PUT EVERYONE BEFORE MYSELF. I USED TO LET EVERYONE FEED OFF MY SUNSHINE, I AM HAPPY 99% OF THE TIME, BUT WHEN I WAS DROWNING NO ONE EVEN CARED TO THROW ME A RAFT. IF YOU STOP GIVING TO TAKERS THE LIFE FORCE THEY NEED, (YOUR LIFE FORCE) THEY WILL CAST YOU ASIDE AND GUESS WHAT.. IT WILL SET YOU FREE. ITS OKAY! I USED TO THINK I WAS A BAD PERSON IF I DIDNT WORRY ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE ALL THE TIME, I THOUGHT I WAS A BAD FRIEND IF I DIDNT WANT TO FIX THINGS FOR THEM INSTEAD OF MY OWN PROBLEMS.. NOW IM SICK, IM TIRED AND I HAVE BEEN FOR A WHILE AND I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME. I NEED TO BE HERE FOR MYSELF & MY FAMILY. FRANKLY EVERYONE ELSE CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES. IT FEELS PRETTY GOOD. :) HOPE THEY ALL DROWN IN THEIR OWN BULLSHIT RIVER! WHO GIVES A BIG RATS ASS WHAT MY WEIGHT IS RIGHT NOW, IM BLEEDING OUT.. THROWING UP ALL THE TIME AND HURTING INSIDE MY BONES LIKE A PIERCED MURDER VICTIM ..WEIGH MY SPARKLY ASHES WHEN YOU CREMATE ME. I REALLY DONT GIVE A SHIT! LOVE KIMMIE oh..BTW found out i have hashimotos and celiac disease.and fibromyalgia..I cant lose weight,  my hair falls out by the hand fulls, my teeth fall out, cant sleep, bones & muscles hurt, dry skin, cant poop, weak muscles, freeze to death, swollen fat face, early menopause, tired all the time, severe ocular migraines, need to kill people at the drop of a hat...dr says.. oh your fine just eat less exercise more and take these 75 medicines.. we will keep an eye on all the tumors on your breast and thyroid till you die :) put on your floaties and get back in that BULLSHIT RIVER! I went to a different Dr. that my friend told me about. I cried like a baby when I left because I finally felt like after all these years someone was finally listening to me and my sickness had a name. So what if I was going to die at least it had a name!!. She put me on the right medicine, the right hormones, and told me to stop eating wheat and get back off dairy for crying out loud and believe it or not I'm starting to feel like a normal human being. I take a shot everyday and a shot every week and 8 pills a day but its something. I'm not drowning in anyones bullshit just my own.