second rant

selfie world of torture ... what the actual fuck. i cant open any social media now days without a selfie feed and im gonna throw it up. why?? do you think you look that good and you have an emotional deep need to be told by everyone that sees it that you are soooo gorgeous... or do you loath yourself and a picture of your perfection must be posted on every screen because your personality sucks so bad your beauty is all you have...is there no one around you to put in the selfie that fills your life with joy.. that would be called a welfie? i have around 1000 friends and about 30 of them have an entire media of just self portraits of there face everyday. most of the time in the car, in front of the mirror, or in their bathroom. one guy looks like he has posted his head on different clothes like GI JOE OR BARBIE..same pose, same smile, just different outfit and one lady leaves her seat belt on in the picture EVERY SINGLE DAY! the only thing different is her shirt. I understand one here or there if you think you might be looking ok that day or if your hunting someone to see you and maybe beg to fuck you, but every single day and you only have pictures of your "living" as hey, this is how my six pack or lipstick looks today! my life is boring otherwise. read a book for shit sake , the world outside is phenomenal! the universe expands every second not just the dead cells that have grown from your head or fingers! i really could care less about the color of your fucking nail polish and that is about TWO OF THE MEN!!! i know.... im a bitch today

Rant of whats more likely...really??

im 51 years old and about 10 or 11 years ago i came to the conclusion that i had lived most of my life with the belief that there was a GOD who created me knew me loved me and would change the way of the world because i prayed to him. It all seems so absurd to me now and i feel as though the reason i believed is not because i felt his presence in my life but because that was what i was taught by everyone around me and what i needed to survive the horrible things that were happening in my life and in the world. God made the devil.. but no way he could be evil..?? love love love.. but the evidence is right the opposite of love when you think of what the bible actually says..or what your true thoughts about other people really are! i wonder sometimes do people even listen to how they talk??? *that baby girl was so sick and cancer eat her insides out and killed her slowly and painfully and she rotted from the inside out because GOD LOVED HER and saw fit that she would be a testimony of his perfect love?? ooorrrrr maybe she was being punished because someone in her family sinned and she would be the price for that sin... consequence because the brutal murder of Jesus was not enough. dont live this life on earth only look to heaven .. geez that is so fucking stupid. what is more likely? evolution of an animal species that created a god to rule over people and came up with anthropological ideas to explain how science works because we didnt have the answers we have now...(REMEMBER WE HAVE ABOUT 3000 RELIGIONS NOT JUST YOURS) ooooor, this vast universe was made by a spirit who just moved around in the middle east and watches our every move to see if we only worship him and has ABSOLUTELY NO REAL CONTACT WITH US ANYMORE EVER! except what we make up out of words written in a book by old men who killed who they wanted to, took what they wanted from everyone who was not as smart as they were and had sex with everyone they wanted, oh and free will, unless we dont want to do what he says, then we burn in hell or get swallowed by a whale and stuck in his belly until we comply. we are to trust and believe in this book until we need something that doesnt happen and then we are to believe it was his will..this god that loves us soooo much.. he needs us to suffer and be sick or get murdered or raped or abused to test our faith and love for him :( but he will help you find your car keys or buy that new dress youve wanted for days. but that tumor in uncle grandpas head can just keep on growing because hes not as good as you!?) my best friends son was tragically killed young, he was a good person.. but this drug filled piece of garbage over here, my ex son in law, has a great life and mistreats all gods good people.. he gets to live. get your new outfit on for the sunday service and pretend to pray and be holy, when all thats in the back of your mind is.. all these people suck but im great and whats for dinner after this bullshit!!! after all these years, over 12 yrs actually, I have never looked back or waivered on the belief that there is not! not! not! a god and really cant understand why people think he is real except for the fear of going to hell that has been pounded in your brain your whole life and you only read the part of the bible that makes you feel good. we now have the scientific method to exchange ideas and if we can come to the conclusion that we are a tiny wild flower that popped up and we are going to die, life would become so precious and we would know that evolution is a horrible and painful process that god did not invent.. even though since he did create evil and death and murder and rape and sin..why not right??? i dont kill people or mistreat people because i chose kindness not because im afraid to die and get punished by this god that loves me but because i chose life and a good life, to love others and care about someone besides myself and know that THIS IS IT! THE ONE TIME I GET A FEW SHORT YEARS TO LIVE MY BEST HAPPY LIFE AND IM GONNA MAKE IT GREAT!!! get over yourselves! your not so special that he keeps your tears in a bottle over your hurt feelings or your body breaking down or whether or not you like the car and house you own and want better for it. be a good person without needing an imaginary friend who is all powerful and has chosen not to show himself real to you because those feelings you get from praying and singing jesus music are the same feelings you get from your brain about new love or your team winning in that sport you pray about. REASON ... ITS THE ONLY TRUE EMOTIONAL HAPPINESS