Im not over the hill..im down the hill.. all this time ive been calling myself a runner..oh just run i write! Put on your shoes and run! Run till i dont jiggle..run run blah blah bullshit. Turns out im no runner im a jogger..im a skipper..im jiggling in big lady pants! Im a shitty shape shifter that still after a year long battle with the same 'last 15lbs' cant control how my body looks. So after my knee decided to get all puffy n shit i decided to join the gym. Do things a little different. I put on my big lady pants and place my runnin band over my willie wonka ass hair and as it rest ever so tightly across my huge twelvehead and reads..potty mouth..i get on the treadmill thinking im a pro..next to me is this sweet little man trying so hard to walk he is sweating and gasping for air but determined to live another day..im so impressed...then...oh yes theres a then..... ms. gymchica' gets on the other side of me and starts running like kate hudson with her hair flowing in the wind from the guy next to me and she never breaks a sweat... REALLY? Forrest gump here!! So i just continue to skip and frolic for 30 minutes and go for the leg training department where i proceed to break my vagina and get contaminated from the hussy behind me. This is lovelyness and bullshit all at the same time. And tomorrow i will do it again but in the arm department i will not break a titty. I will get on the treadmill and run downhill in the same direction as my big fat bubble guts are pointing because downhill is way better than backwards.
