Counting...

I count the caleries..I count the minutes I run..I count the days I have left till I can have dairy again.. I count the hairs in my tub because its falling out like a cowardly little bitch..where do u think your going I scream! Your not fat! your not what is leaving this body!! Bullshit!! Just a small tiny problem sends me into a fit. Our wifi hasnt been working right for a week and the process of resetting it or calling customer care is more than I can take. I WANT TO EAT! so instead of opening every food in the kitchen and shoveling it down my pie hole..I go to bed and read..back to calm who needs wifi anyway its just a way to look at all the cupcakes I cant have. Everything I eat that is poison goes straight to my fat reserve because my body seems to always work against me to keep from starving. Then when i do the right thing it throws away my muscle first not the fat..What a fucked up design why cant it know that I just dream of an unfloppy ass?? Stupid body! :/
Now im counting the minutes till sleep..cant eat while sleeping but if it could be done I would have found a way :)