This is an uphill..neverending..torturous..battle. im never gonna be normal im always gonna be just a little bit fat. Emotional eaters will always have emotions. What the hell is bothering me? I dont know whats eating me but I sure know what im eating. This is total bullshit. Popcorn would be a fantastic way to mindlessly ignore the world but it seems to be made of poison just like everything else that taste good. . So I suffer for two days till I eat three oatmeal bars like a rat left at a carnival smorgasbord. Weeks of being a grownup shot to hell in a four minute downfall. If I would have just ate a tiny bag of m&ms like I needed this would not have happen. I still dont know how to deal with whats in the back of my mind without food. And ive noticed as I lose weight im still not comfortable in my body. I will never see myself thin but I can go to neverthin neverending land and dream of a candy mountain where I wear a running hat and a tutu with starving to death just around the corner.( Hello thin...where have you been i have been waiting and waiting for you...)Happiness is knowing where ever you live you can always move and wherever your mind is you can always change it ..if only for a little minute :)
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