I have not seen those damn lights in 7 months..the longest span of time without a migraine in my 45 years of being alive. When I stopped eating the poison crap I was gorging on, the headaches stopped. Now let me explain that what my family calls migraines are really migraines..not a headache where people actually function and say oh I had a migraine this morning..these damn things are like a stroke! Im going about my normal day..not a warning until my vision is off. I blink like a frog in a hail storm hoping its not so, but then the lights..the strobe lights.. start blinking in the shape of a lightening bolt..i know its here..well fuck!!..where am I and how close are my shots??. I have to knock myself out and get in the dark before the pain hits...oh god the pain. Then my mouth my hands and sometimes my whole arm get numb..I know my name but I couldnt tell you what it is.. all that comes out is..lights..theres lights in my eyes! Panic sets in and I hope im asleep before it gets worse. I hunt my meds and the frozen juice box in the freezer or the heating pad. A knife stabs the side of my head with a seven month vengeance and I pray for death. Not one time in my life has prayer worked..the pain does not stop until it wants to and im what me and my sister call "crazy" for about three days. I continue to drop things and if I sneeze or throw up it feels like a bullet just blew my brains out and im crying like a little girl. Then for a week im afraid to look at the beautiful sun which I love love love, because im terrified the lights will come back. A normal women could not suffer through this..what doesnt kill us makes us stronger?? Bullshit!!! well sometimes it should kill us. Im going back to bed.
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