Drowned, Dead, & Washed up on the River bank like a whale

well hello there... I bet you can never guess what bullshit is going on this year..yep I'm phat! I have a gym in my house but never use it, I never run anymore, I eat like I should two or three days a week and the rest is spent with full blown hand motions of cramming in food food glorious food into my mouth! I am @ 208.6 lbs..gross, this winter has been a lay in bed 24/7 season.. except when I am working and when I am working I am sitting on my ass in front of a computer. Sex, which is still awesome, is the only exercise I get and no way am I giving up that. Although I do not have a clue how my sweet husband even finds my vagina anymore because it is lost under the rolls of thunder thighs and tumor belly that I hide under cute clothes and a tan. How sexy am I? not at all, but he has been eating with me and we are both a couple of fat asses. now..how bad am I gonna let it get, back up to 250 lbs?..298 lbs was my heaviest point before my lap band surgery, I seem to be well on my way! I am watching myself get bigger and acting like its not happening, until today. Today is the day this bullshit ends! I had to walk up my street to get my car and I almost fell over! I was breathing like I was having a panic attack! So good bye doughnuts, fuck you cupcakes, never again baby cokes..you can suck it! I want to live and I want to live being comfortable in my clothes because I'm not buying new bigger ones ever again. I still want to be laid up next to my sexy husband all day everyday just not like a beached rotten whale. ok lets see me not die..may 20 2019.